I would do much better working in a lab. I’ve spent the last hour working on this ridiculously complicated budget for a program and I just keep hitting a wall.

SHIT CRAY CRAY

But seriously- Proctors has a fiscal year spanning January-December, and the school district’s fiscal year spans July-June, which means I’ve had to do TWO budgets, multiple times, not to mention the separate budgets I’ve created for various grants.

When it comes down to brass tacks (can I use that expression? I’m only in my 20s, not my 60s…) the money and the information is all the same, it just depends on how you present the damn information. And therein lies the rub (again, can I use that expression? Oh who gives a f*@k)

I think budgeting should just be made easier. I mean… I don’t know how to do it. Maybe it would involve a fire extinguisher? And white out? Or maybe if we just HAD a ton of money, we could be like the wonderful plutocrats on Wall Street and say things like “whatever the cost, do it!”

In other news, I’ve been celibate long enough. A month is plenty, thanks. (Joey, it hasn’t even been a month yet, you weak little troll of a man. Relax!) I’m losing my sex appeal daily.

Ok. Let’s be honest here. I’ll NEVER lose my sex appeal. NEVER I SAY!

But I keep thinking about how disinterested in sex I am. I mean, the idea of someone else touching me is just… #ugh (YEAH I just used a hashtag in my blog. You wanna fight about it?) My massage last night was sufficient touching for me for the next two months, I don’t need some man to awkwardly/drunkenly/confusedly touch me and pretend he likes me while badly kissing me and then the next day he doesn’t call (because I hate talking on the phone) or text me (which I love because it shows his thumbs are working).

No. I’d rather read the Hunger Games and fantasize about Peeta’s arms around me and not that dumb ho Katniss instead of falling awkwardly into the stream of modern gay sexualizing (I combined sex and socializing— aren’t I smart?) and risk the consternation involved when two men meet.


Does that make me a loner? #OHGOD 

the interwebz is so distracting! ahh!

no, but seriously. i was in the middle of making a bagel, washing clothes, cleaning the bedroom, and taking my pills when i thought, “hey, let’s check out the internet” and here I am, 24 minutes later (I assume) bagel done, chores abandoned, pills nowhere to be seen.

WTF, MATE!?

today has been glorious, and i say that not because i haven’t showered since Saturday night, but because i have been productive, relaxed and energized. whoa. who knew life could feel so awesome?

it’s interesting to note that i am someone with a lot of opinions, but when it comes to writing a blog, i end up writing about trivial things or shouting out random bits of weirdness, like i have hipster tourettes. i feel like i should be able to muster 500 words on why the election is a scary thing, or why i’m applying to grad school and/or other jobs, but instead, i find myself talking about bagels.


mmmm…. bagels…..

i had this realization today about work. i’ve been spinning my wheels for the last… oh, let’s make up a number and stick with it…. 8 months, in which i get through each day, each week, each month, assuming there will be some reprieve. i mess up my body because i can’t get into a pattern, and i end up feeling stressed, exhausted and imbalanced. it’s not good. not good at all. perhaps it’s the work, perhaps its the gin, perhaps shannon doherty has finally delivered on her threat to me in 3rd grade, but, whatever the case, this is a cycle i need to reform NOW. i can’t live like i’m on a treadmill, i need to walk, or run, or jog, or skip like the little gay boy that i am, at my own pace.

geez. i’m hungry again. 

blogs. i like them.
gays. i would LIKE to like them.
clothes. i love them.
muffins. i love them.
dancing. i wish i did that more.
yoga. i NEED to do that more.
grad school apps. i need to finish them.

cliche name, Joey. WAY. TO. GO.

But seriously. my relationship with this blog is like a bad romance. i go through periods where i ignore it and forget it exists, then something reminds me of it and i get hyper focused on its beauty and can’t get it out of my head. there’s no in-between. i either wanna bang this blog hard and long or leave it wanting more.

yes, i went there.


 i haven’t written any poetry in a while, which means i’ve either stopped being a whiny pussy or i’m devoid of an outlet creatif. 



i just want to wrestle naked with another man. what’s the harm in that? 

DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU ARE STILL GETTING OVER AN EX, ARE STILL DATING SOMEONE, ARE UNABLE TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT WITH REAL CONVERSATIONS PERTAINING TO YOUR FEELINGS, AND AREN’T HAPPY ENOUGH IN YOUR OWN LIFE TO ACTUALLY DEAL WITH SOMEONE ELSE.





kthanksbyeloveya 

i took a bath last night, with lavender-infused epsom salt to relax me. i almost fell asleep in the tub.

last week was my week back at work after almost two weeks of glorious rest & relaxation and healing. i can safely say i did NOT miss work, and i am going to have to actively make sure i do not stress out or work as much as i did before and fall back into ill-health.

grad school: one app is done (Austin!) and i have three due later this week, and then one after that. i think this is the best step forward for me. all i imagine now is decorating my cute new apartment with vintage things and inviting boys over and impressing them with my cool style and taste and having them all fall madly in love with this crazy boy from Schenectady, NY who is too smart for his own good and way hotter than any of the fools they’ve dated before and they will just have to make me theirs and take me off the market before someone else steals me up right from under their nose.

obviously i’ve been living out this fantasy in my head…


yoga. i miss it. i’ll get back to it, very soon. i know i will.

i really don’t know why all these republican presidential candidates attack gay people. do they KNOW who dresses their wives, making what would normally be a hideous conservative woman at around a 4/10 pass for a 7.5-8/10? geez.