I would do much better working in a lab. I’ve spent the last hour working on this ridiculously complicated budget for a program and I just keep hitting a wall.

SHIT CRAY CRAY

But seriously- Proctors has a fiscal year spanning January-December, and the school district’s fiscal year spans July-June, which means I’ve had to do TWO budgets, multiple times, not to mention the separate budgets I’ve created for various grants.

When it comes down to brass tacks (can I use that expression? I’m only in my 20s, not my 60s…) the money and the information is all the same, it just depends on how you present the damn information. And therein lies the rub (again, can I use that expression? Oh who gives a f*@k)

I think budgeting should just be made easier. I mean… I don’t know how to do it. Maybe it would involve a fire extinguisher? And white out? Or maybe if we just HAD a ton of money, we could be like the wonderful plutocrats on Wall Street and say things like “whatever the cost, do it!”

In other news, I’ve been celibate long enough. A month is plenty, thanks. (Joey, it hasn’t even been a month yet, you weak little troll of a man. Relax!) I’m losing my sex appeal daily.

Ok. Let’s be honest here. I’ll NEVER lose my sex appeal. NEVER I SAY!

But I keep thinking about how disinterested in sex I am. I mean, the idea of someone else touching me is just… #ugh (YEAH I just used a hashtag in my blog. You wanna fight about it?) My massage last night was sufficient touching for me for the next two months, I don’t need some man to awkwardly/drunkenly/confusedly touch me and pretend he likes me while badly kissing me and then the next day he doesn’t call (because I hate talking on the phone) or text me (which I love because it shows his thumbs are working).

No. I’d rather read the Hunger Games and fantasize about Peeta’s arms around me and not that dumb ho Katniss instead of falling awkwardly into the stream of modern gay sexualizing (I combined sex and socializing— aren’t I smart?) and risk the consternation involved when two men meet.


Does that make me a loner? #OHGOD